My idol Dwight Wade written by Lyn - Brandon Zin Blog Helping Chinese learn English through blogging
 
Lyn's version

My idol is Dwyane Tyrone Wade. He is one of the best basketball players in NBA and he is a shooting guard in Maimi HEATS now.His fans sometimes call him The Flash, cause his breakthrough is the fastest and the most beatuiful on the court, just like a lightning.
There is a song written for him, although I don't know who wrote it.The song is It Is My Life.“i just wanna live while i am alive” is  one of the sentences of the song. i like it very much.Because it encourages people to live in the present and to spare no effort to do something that is worth.
Always,I was so excited when i saw Wade playing basketball on the court and heared that song which reminded me of the great basketball player.


My comments

Dwayne Tyrone Wade is my idol (I think you have more than one idol. If you say my idol...which means you have only one idol). He is one of the best players in the National Basket Association  (if you say he is one of the best basketball players, that means that are other kinds of player in NBA), the premier basketball league in the United States. He s a shooting guard of the Miami Heats. He is known to the fans as "The Flash" because his movements are so quick on the court that it is like a flash in the lightning. There is a song written about him, although I do not know who wrote it (it is Shaq). Part of the lyrics of the song sounds like this,."I just wanna live while i am alive” . I like it very much because it encourages a person to cherish what he has (live for today means 只为今天生存) and do their best on what is worthwhile. I am always excited when I see Wade play (make sure not plays) basketball on the court and listen to the above song, which reminds of him (use present tense as you still enjoying see him. No need to repeat what you said about him above that he is one of the best).

My revised version

Dwayne Tyrone Wade is my idolHe is one of the best players in the National Basket Associationthe premier basketball league in the United States. He s a shooting guard of the Miami Heats. He is known to the fans as "The Flash" because his movements are so quick on the court that it is like a flash in the lightning. There is a song written about him, although I do not know who wrote it. Part of the lyrics of the song sounds like this,."I just wanna live while I am alive” . I like it very much because it encourages a person to cherish what he has and do the best on what is worthwhile. I am always excited when I see Wade play basketball on the court or listen to the above song, which reminds me of him.



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