My friend, Lucinda, has written the below passage.  I have commented in blue. On the whole, the passage is well written. However she needs to pay attention to little things, like "i" must be capitalised, punctuation marks must be properly spaced (there should be no space before a punctuation mark, but there should be one after) and "more better" is not acceptable.
1. WenZhou is my hometown, peopel here are industrious and enthusiasm,as well as flexible .I find it when i in university, where peopel regards WenZhou person as rich ones.

2. The peopel like sea food very much ,besides some famous snacks,which i can not describe in english.

3. Well New Year Festival is a big day in mainland, we celebrate with relatives and friends,there are a lot activities ,for example,watching Dragon Dance,praying for new year,as well as setting off fireworks and firecrackers.

4.Custom ? I really do not pay much attention to it, in other words,i get used to it., and hardly realised it. However i had to visit my grandparents and set gifts when middle autumn is coming. 

5.Eh i'd like to say , though it is not far form Hangzhou ,the wether in WenZhou is far more better than Hangzhou ,where is too hot in summer and too cold in winter. 

6.Hehe can i use the slang "no pain no gain", we have to pay for the development of past years’ economic grows, the pollution here is very serious…… so i prefer staying home.

1. Wenzhou is my hometown. Wenzhou people are industrious and enthusiastic, as well as flexible. People generally consider that Wenzhou people are rich, which I found out from my classmates after I entered into university (presuming you are still in university).
2. Wenzhou people like sea foods very much, besides some famous snacks, which I cannot describe in English.
3  The Chinese New Year, or the Spring Festival, is a big festival in Mainland China. We celebrate it with relatives and friends. There are a lot of activities, for example, watching dragon dances, praying for blessing for a prosperous new year and playing fireworks and firecrackers.
4  As for customs, I really do not pay much attention to it. In other words, I get used to it and hardly realise it. However, I have to visit my grandparents from time to time. Besides, I have to send gifts to friends or relatives come Mid-autumn Festival (or when the Mid-autumn Festival comes). 
5. I would like to say that although Wenzhou is not too far from Hangzhou, its weather is better than Hangzhou, as it is not as hot in the summer and not as cold in the winter as that of Hangzhou.
6 I think "no pain no gain". Wenzhou has to pay for the developments of past years' economic growth as its pollution is very serious...... so I prefer to stay home.

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