Below is  a passage by my friend, Selina. Please see my comments in italics below.


Selina's passage

i like you blog and i think you are a good teacher ! i look for you can help me improve my english ,i learning english two years until now but now my english is very poor , please not laugh at me, perhaps i had dumb! when i meet froeigner at first time i fell nervous and i don' know how to say!so i afraid to communicate with other english speaker---

My comments

Selina, you English is not bad at all. However, pay attention to the following points:
  • "I" must be capitalized.
  • Punctuation marks are made immediately a word. A space must be left after a punctuation mark.
  • Check your spellings.
  • For proper nouns, such as English, the first letter must be capitalised.

Please read the below passage, which I have revised for your reference:

" I like your blog. I think you are a good teacher. I look for your help to improve my English. I have been learning English for two years but my English is still very poor. Please do not laugh at me.Perhaps I am dumb. When I meet a foreign for the first time, I feel nervous and don't know how to speak to him in English. Therefore, I am afraid to communicate with other English speakers."
 
 
I was a shy boy.

Up to now, I am still a boy with a little shyness. I think, for girls, shyness maybe make them look cute. But people are all like lively, sunny, humorous boy. Here is a funny story.


Long long ago, when I was in Primary School. I was so shy that I always cried When I met some troubles that I couldn't solve. In Grade 5, I began to study english. My english teacher was a terrible man and I didn't like him very much. He always asked us to answer questions. If we couldn't answer the questions, he would beat us on the hands heavy with a big stick. Every time, If I couldn't answer his question, I always felt shy and began to cry after the beating.

One day, I couldn't answer his question again. when the terrible teacher came at me with his big stick, my tear were in my eyes and were going to drop. He saw it and after a moment, he went away. To my surprise, He didn't beat me. I remember I was so happy that time.

Now, I seldom cry, but the shyness always go with me. I try to change it all the time. I think I need much more courage. could you give me some advices?
 
 
Picture
Melissa's hometown, Jian'ou
My friend, Melissa has done the following exercise. She is studying to be a English teacher. Her English is good. That is no doubt about it.  I make the following comments for her consideration:

Paragraph 2. I entered into this college in 2007. I major in pedagogical English (note 1. "attended", in past tense, indicates that Melissa has completed her college degree. 2. Try not to start a sentence with a conjunction such as and, because, but, etc.. 3. "am majoring", in present progressive tense, indicates that Melissa is doing that major now and is considering changing to another major).


Paragraph 4 appears convoluted. I would change it to: As I see it, a language is tool used by people to communicate with each other. In order to seriously learn about a culture of a foreign country, it is useful to know the language of that country.
  1. I am a student of Foreign Trade and Business College of Chongqing Normal University. 
  2. I attended this college in 2007. And I am majoring in pedagogical English. I love all kinds of cultures. That was one of the reasons why i chose my major.
  3. Through years of studying, I think the major difficulties in learning English are speaking and writing. Between the two, speaking is more difficult.
  4. As I see to it, a language is a tool for people who speak different languages to communicate with others, to learn about the culture. So, if one wants to get to know others, he must know the language first.
  5. I still have no plan of my future. But I think there is a probility for me to be a teacher for English.
  6. Since the first time I visited your blog, I found you are quite good in English and are willing to help others. You are so kind. I look forward to your comment.
 
 
Below is an attempt on the subject by my friend 祝小英. I can hardly find any mentionable flaws except the followings:

Paragraph 2: "last level" to be changed to "junior level" 

Paragraph 5: I would appreciate it if you could.....
1. I used to be a teacher in a high school,I'd been a teacher for 14 years. I worked in the school library, taught biology and Englsih. Now I work in the government of our county as a translator,I mainly translate Jingpo(景颇语), since we are close to the Myanmar, there are many Jingpo people there too. The foreign affairs of our region are mainly to Myanmar.

2. I am only a translator here, not in the last level, maybe in the middle. 

3.English is a world language, it is widely used in the mordern society. As a translator, I think it would be better for me to master more than three or four languages. Even though I don't have a chance to use English often in my daily life or in my job. I'm only in a remote region in China. I think I have to master it.

4. It's really difficult for me to master English well. The major difficulties are that I don't have a partner to practice it. When we learn a language, it is easy for us to master it if we have a language environment. Remembering many words is difficult for me too, the rests are listening and spoken Englsih. Here I just speak Chinese or my native languages every day. So how hard for me to master English, I just hope that I can speak English as fluently as I speak Chinese or my native languages.

5. You are really a kind person, I'm really impressed. Few people can do like you,I think. I am appretiate if you can speak English with me, maybe every day, but I know I can't be a selfish person. So hopefully that you can speak with me in English when you have time, when you are very very free.

6. My goal for my career developements is to be a No.1 translator in our region one day. I hope my goal will become true. So I think I have to add Myanmarese and some other languages. I plan to master Myanmar in two or three years, I don't begin to learn it now. As to English, I have to master it as quickly as I can. Oh, it's just a goal,no one can tell how I will be, anyway I will try my best to learn languages as much as I can. if I can't reach my goal, I think I won't be sad in the future, as long as I work hard for it. 

7. Thanks for your kindness, I'm lucky to make friends with you, I'm sure I will make a big progress with your help. I know I can't do anything to help you, and you don't need my help, either,the only thing that I can do is to share my life with you if you like.
 
 
My friend, Lucinda, has written the below passage.  I have commented in blue. On the whole, the passage is well written. However she needs to pay attention to little things, like "i" must be capitalised, punctuation marks must be properly spaced (there should be no space before a punctuation mark, but there should be one after) and "more better" is not acceptable.
1. WenZhou is my hometown, peopel here are industrious and enthusiasm,as well as flexible .I find it when i in university, where peopel regards WenZhou person as rich ones.

2. The peopel like sea food very much ,besides some famous snacks,which i can not describe in english.


3. Well New Year Festival is a big day in mainland, we celebrate with relatives and friends,there are a lot activities ,for example,watching Dragon Dance,praying for new year,as well as setting off fireworks and firecrackers.


4.Custom ? I really do not pay much attention to it, in other words,i get used to it., and hardly realised it. However i had to visit my grandparents and set gifts when middle autumn is coming. 


5.Eh i'd like to say , though it is not far form Hangzhou ,the wether in WenZhou is far more better than Hangzhou ,where is too hot in summer and too cold in winter. 

6.Hehe can i use the slang "no pain no gain", we have to pay for the development of past years’ economic grows, the pollution here is very serious…… so i prefer staying home.

1. Wenzhou is my hometown. Wenzhou people are industrious and enthusiastic, as well as flexible. People generally consider that Wenzhou people are rich, which I found out from my classmates after I entered into university (presuming you are still in university).
2. Wenzhou people like sea foods very much, besides some famous snacks, which I cannot describe in English.
3  The Chinese New Year, or the Spring Festival, is a big festival in Mainland China. We celebrate it with relatives and friends. There are a lot of activities, for example, watching dragon dances, praying for blessing for a prosperous new year and playing fireworks and firecrackers.
4  As for customs, I really do not pay much attention to it. In other words, I get used to it and hardly realise it. However, I have to visit my grandparents from time to time. Besides, I have to send gifts to friends or relatives come Mid-autumn Festival (or when the Mid-autumn Festival comes). 
5. I would like to say that although Wenzhou is not too far from Hangzhou, its weather is better than Hangzhou, as it is not as hot in the summer and not as cold in the winter as that of Hangzhou.
6 I think "no pain no gain". Wenzhou has to pay for the developments of past years' economic growth as its pollution is very serious...... so I prefer to stay home.
 
 
My friend Changchang has submitted an exercise on the subject. I have reviewed and made some corrections. I consider CC's level of English as high. She has a good grasp of English grammar. Basically each and every one of her sentences has a subject, a verb and an object, which is the cardinal rule of good English writing.

I
n my corrections, words in red indicate "a must change" and words in blue indicate "a remmended change" and words in indicate "to be deleted".  
1. I work at a comprehensive (general)publishing house in Beijing. It publishes magzines and all sorts (a variety) of social books.
 
2. Actually I
has have been working as a editor at the book department (of the same company) for almost ten years. SinceIn (in is used as the appointment is a one time thing) 2007, I was appointed as the director of the children’s book editorial department.  

3. As a
n editor, I usually need introducing (need to introduce) foreign books to the Chinese(local)people . In fact, most of them are of (the subject is plural, what follows has to be in piural) English version. So I need to use English communicating (to communicate) with foreign company companies and or on occasions of signing contracts with them as well.

4. When I l
earning learn English I fellfeel the grammar part is the most difficult. I often don’t (do not) know how to organize the a sentences using the correct grammar.

5. I think I need more practice including speaking and writing
in English. I need your instructions and suggestions particularly.  

6. I want to be a
n independent publisher in the publishing children’s book business or a successful writer in the future.  
Here is a revised version of Changchang's exercise incorporating the above "must changes" and "recommended changes"
  
1. I work at a general publishing house in Beijing. It publishes magzines and a variety of social books.

2. Actually I have been working as a editor at the book department of the same company
 for almost ten years. In 2007, I was appointed as the director of the children’s book editorial department.  

3. As an editor, I need to introduce
 foreign books to the local people . In fact, most of them are of English version. So I need to use English to communicate with foreign companies or on occasions of signing contracts with them.

4. When I learn English I feel grammar is the most difficult part. I often do not know how to organize a sentence using correct grammar.

5. I think I need more practice including speaking and writing in English. I need your instructions and suggestions particularly.  

6. I want to be an independent publisher in the publishing children’s book business or a successful writer in the future.  
 
 
1.   What do you think of the people in your hometown?
2.   What food and dishes do people have in your hometown?
3.   How do you spend the Spring Festival?
4.   Could you tell us some customs in your hometown?
5.   How is the weather like in your hometown?
6.   Where do you usually go in your hometown? Why?



 
 
  1. What university or college are you attending? 
  2. What year are you in? What is your major? 
  3. How do you think English would help you in your studies? 
  4. What are the major difficulties you face when learning English? 
  5. How do you think I can help you? 
  6. What are your goals after you graduate?
  7. Other comments.
 
 
  1. What kind of business your employer is in? 
  2. What is your position in the company? 
  3. How do you think English would help you in your job? 
  4. What are the major difficulties you face when learning English? 
  5. How do you think I can help you? 
  6. What are your goals for your career developments?
  7. Other comments.